It has been 3 weeks since my last post. The bigger this gap increases the more paralyzed I feel because there are so many things happening and my terrible memory cannot recall them all or even the majority. But I need to write now even if I omit things because then we will just be a pilgrim with no progress or a touch with no down or a headless horseman with a head. To say it like a normal person, we would be between a rock and another harder rock.
Currently I am living in Florence and will be here for 5 more days before continuing on to Madrid. But when we last conversed I was still in Rome so lets start there. 3 weeks ago I began to study for my midterms and have been extra busy since. After midterms, we took a break from the 3 classes that we have been doing (politcal thought, film, pilgrimage) and we are currently in the middle of our three week art course.
Looking back on Rome there are several things that stand out. The first is my experience at the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel. We went to the Vatican museum on one of our last days in Rome. The museum is brimming with historical paintings and sculptures. I don't think there is another place in the world with this amount of religiously significant art pieces. There are too many in fact. Whole rooms are filled with sculptures but they won't let you walk in to them. The thought of "spreading the wealth" came in to my head mulitple times. Walking in the Vatican museum is intersting because that pretty much all you do for 99% of the time. The Pope must really be in to hall ways because the hall ways of the Vatican are unmatched anywhere in the world. It's hard to describe but if you imagine herding cattle through a tiny canyon, but the canyon is covered in paintings, statues and gold so the cattle keep wanting to stop to take pictures or at least absorb what they are seeing but they can't. Everyone is so set on getting to the Sistine Chapel (which is conveniently at the end) that they stampede through the rest of the museum passing countless pieces of art that would be revered in any other museum. Thankfully I was warned of this ahead of time and made sure that this cow took his time and really took in what the Vatican museum had to offer. One of my favorite pieces that I saw was the "School of Athens" by Raphael. It was so big that I could see detail in it that I never had seen before. The Sistine Chapel was amazing and very impressive, but the atmosphere detracted from the experience slightly. First it was packed with people who were trying to sneak pictures because apparently you can't do that. The quiet murming gets louder and louder in the room until someone on a mic and says "Shushhhhh. No photo. No video. Shushhhh." This cycle happens about every 5 minutes. I spent about 45 minutes altogether in the chapel just looking at the ceiling and in that short of time my neck hurt the next day. I can't imagine how Michelangelo could do that for 4 years.
I have wandered through my fair share of chapels in these past 2 months and I have noticed that people are always looking up. I mean it makes sense. Part (or most) of the beauty of these buildings comes from how the space is used and how much is there. Valted ceilings that rise hundreds of feet above are hard to ignore and even harder to look away from once you've seen them. As I sat and watched other tourists go through St. Peter's basilica, I noticed their craned necks and all of their camera lenses pointed upward. No one looked down to see what they were walking on. Beautiful mosaics covered the floor alongside frescos and reliefs of past Pope's or saints. One by one these visitors tread on these precious items without giving a second thought of anything at ground level. I understand this as I did it myself the first time I visited, but there is so more and it's so much closer and relatable than the massive statues clinging to the ceiling. Perhaps this is analogous to how we live our lives. I am fortuante enough to have participated in this and do not want to downplay the impact that it has on my life. However there is so much to be gained within the city limits of Austin and Santa Barbara. Part of why this trip has been so special and so impactful is because I have approached each day with intention, knowing that my time is limited and I must take advantage of it now. What would my life look like if I took that same approach with my relationships in the U.S.? I understand that this can be overwhelming. Much like when I go in to a museum and feel lost in all of the art around me. When this happens I just pick one piece of art per room and look at it, analyze it, really see it. That should be applied to being intentional. You're not going to succeed in doing this with every aspect of your life but pick one person or one thing that you will approach as if your time with them/it is limited and you want to make what time you have count the most.
As our time in Rome was coming to a close, I began to realize that I was doing "my lasts". My visit to Scholar's (the Irish bar we always went to), the last time I would talk to the szchizophrenic guy who would yell in our square, the last time I would hear the terrible band who only knew one song and would play every day for the tourists or my last trip to Forno where we went to get pizza usually twice a day, which was actually called Milvio (Forno just means "oven in Italina but we didn't know that). It was sad to leave these places and these people. It took a lot out of me to leave Rome because I left so much unseen and undone. The Sistine Chapel was a mircocosm for Rome. I could spend a year exploring it and still see new things.
To reference "Good Will Hunting", now I know what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel.
I Love you all,
Not Being but Becoming,
Chris Costenbader
P.S. The title has nothing to do with anything it just sounds cool.
